Having had a very happy childhood...I have nevertheless had like most,nay all, people in this world, my share of trials and tribulations...so it crossed my mind a few days ago about whether these struggles really make us better in any sense and if so what?And is there a defined point where we are in danger of giving up completely and surrendering to adversity without a worthy fight??
Why did this question strike me now...why was it that I felt that I have grown up more in the last 2 years of my life than in all the rest??
Was it the illnesses of dearest than dear family members..illnesses in which I sat and watched...infuriated and alternately tortured by my inability to do anything even as a doctor...where all I could do was spew forth some paltry lame words of encouragement and hope,support from miles away over the telephone!.....where I sat and prayed day in and day out for their health from GOD....
Was it the struggle for residency... a path that I had thought would be somewhat difficult,but which turned out to be more taxing and draining than I had anticipated...that sense of fear of losing everything for that one thing you are staking your life for??
Was it living alone...and fending for oneself...no longer carefree and sheltered from all by loving parents??
Was it the behaviour of people you thought were friends but who turned beautiful friendships into heartwrenching mockery??
Was it the realization of the sublime truth that we all are but creatures of GOD and must go through all that he has planned for us....we may sit and make plans a plenty for an entire lifetime while he maybe laughing at our childishness!!
Having had a strong faith in GOD all my life one would have thought that I would have realized this a long time ago....and maybe I had...but I think we humans have poor memories for such matters...and GOD has to give us a whack now and then to bring us back to our senses...to make us realize that we are but an inconsequential speck of sand in the grand scheme of nature.I would not presume to even begin to imagine how and by what means HE decides what rewards and what punishments to mete out...and how HE balances them....but one thing I truly believe is that it is always for our betterment.
Going through the throes of despair is essential to experience the euphoria of happiness...one must fall to the depths of failure sometimes before rising to the pinnacle of success.
He keeps challenging us...stretching us to the limit....seeing how far we can strain ourselves...it all depends on how soon we realize the important message that he's trying to convey...if we learn quickly chances are that he'll let us breathe easy...but like a parent teaching an infant to walk he needs to push us to seemingly unendurable limits occasionally....letting us expand our horizons and capabilities in the process.
Each challenging phase of life that we go through takes something away from us...something of our childhood innocence and naivity...and leaves some permanent scars occasionally...but I would rather carry these scars proudly like a soldier returning from the battlefront does...rather than like a burden.Each one of these scars adds to our knowledge and experience and each helps us along our chosen paths in life...making us better equipped emotionally to deal with future problems.
Certainly there are times when you are about to give up...and this point is not well defined at all...it depends on our circumstances of life and our social systems of support at that moment in time......but from my limited experience,GOD always sends someone along to help us at that critical point...it maybe someone we never knew before...it may even be some aspect of our character hitherto left undiscovered.
Our path in life maybe riddled with myriad troubles...but it is always a journey of self exploration and betterment and it is from this knowledge that we should derive comfort and solace intimes of need.Every cloud has a silver lining and the storm is always followed by golden sunlight!
Having said all this...I would like to say however that it is not in the times of crisis that we realize the presence of a supreme power...but rather in the calm after the storm has passed are we able to see HIS infinite sagacity...but if we go looking for it we can see the presence of this guiding light even in the smallest and seemingly unimportant things...and it is certainly a comfort to realize HIS presence..left to ourselves we humans would always choose what was worst for us!
Maybe most of you who read this will find nothing new in it...having realized these simple facts a long time ago...but my own inadequate understanding of this has been a shocking revelation to me and by putting it down in words I hope never to forget it again.Amen.
